Whaddup. It’s ya boi Andrew coming at ya from Chiang Mai, Thailand, October 15th, 2021. I heard it’s been snowing in Colorado. It ain’t here, that’s for sure — it’s been gorgeous weather, low 80s during the day and 70s at night, with occasional short-lived showers.
I’ll write more about Chiang Mai in a minute, but first, let me talk about Bangkok. I traveled to the most visited city in the world last weekend for a few days on my way up here. I’m sad to say that I wrote a post about my time there, but despite hours of editing, it still wasn’t meeting my creative standards, so I decided against publishing it. (I find this ironic because I dictated the post; it seems I should stick to writing and keep my mouth shut.)
Here’s the SparkNotes version:
- I kind of wanted to party in Bangkok, since it’s supposedly a wild city and I had just spent two weeks on deserted(ish) islands. I don’t drink, but I do dance. I wanted to go out all night and watch the sun rise from a sweaty club floor. Instead, a 10 p.m. city-wide curfew pretty much ruled out any nightlife, even in its raunchiest locales. Sad face :’(
- I didn’t do much touristy stuff, since I’ll be back in Bangkok sooner or later. Instead, I just put away my phone and wandered, intentionally getting lost. I walked a lot, at least 10-15 miles per day, and discovered some pretty cool places. But again, a lot was closed and it was pretty quiet.
- I checked out a few of the city’s giant malls, which were truly impressive. Texas thinks everything is bigger in Texas; clearly, Texas has never been to Bangkok. Not only are the shopping centers enormous, but many of them are quite posh and very aesthetically pleasing. It was a real delight to the senses, but a bit overwhelming at times too.
- At the suggestion of one of my new Thai friends, I visited Yarowat, also known as Chinatown. This place was freaking nuts (see below). Insanely crowded, packed with even the most bizarre varieties of streetfood, it’s a labyrinth of single-file alleys filled with strange smells and tiny pop-up shops. This, too, was more than a little overwhelming.
- I think I ate something I shouldn’t have in Chinatown (like that’s a first) and I felt like shit for a few days. Combining the insatiable migraine and fatigue with walking so much, sleep deprivation, too much coffee, dehydration, 100-something degree heat, and sweating buckets, I felt like I was at my physical limit. A complete stranger gave me a free bottle of water, so maybe I looked as bad as I felt. She may have saved me from passing out in the middle of a busy street; in other words, she may well have saved my life. So once more, I’m grateful for and indebted to the kindness and hospitality of strangers.
Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say, so I’m hesitant to cast judgement. But in all honesty, I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t the most exciting three days and it was pretty stressful when my health was dangling by a thread; if it got much worse, I would have checked myself into a hospital and delayed my trip to Chiang Mai. Thankfully, it didn’t.
Instead, here I am! I am thoroughly enjoying my new home city so far.
Alive, Somewhere
Let me clarify something real quick. When I started this blog, I hadn’t really intended to make it a travel blog, since I’m living abroad, not just traveling. I inevitably wrote about travels when I was visiting paradise resort islands for a few weeks, but that’s not really what I want to spend all my time doing.
Instead, I want it to be a lifestyle blog. Whose lifestyle, you ask? Both mine and the people who I meet. Mine, because living abroad and traveling the world as a freelance writer is — forgive the understatement — pretty cool. But others too, because the whole reason I’m not living in the U.S. in the first place is because it was too much of a bubble where everyone thinks and does approximately the same things (and it’s boring and expensive). The people who I encounter on my journey have remarkable, unique, and profoundly different ways of living, which I hope to share with you in addition to my own musings. Hopefully the combination of these perspectives will be enriching to you — that is my goal for the site, if there is one. And if you ever want advice about freelancing/self-employment or living abroad, or if you have questions or comments, the Contact page is just a click away.
In this post, and in the coming posts, there is a very high likelihood that my writing will be primarily focused on the people and their lives rather than the sites and attractions. In the islands, I wasn’t meeting many people since I was a tourist, so there wasn’t much else to talk about. Here in Chiang Mai, I am making significantly more effort to meet people, learn and try new things, connect, and lay down roots. I already have met quite a few very interesting folks.
I’m glad we clarified that. Now let me share some stories with you.
Humans Of Earth
I’ll tell you about a few people, or groups of people, and some of the things I discussed with and learned from them. Simple enough, right?
Actually, we’re starting in Bangkok, not Chiang Mai. While I was there, I had the pleasure of meeting Lindsay, a Thai-American freelance journalist. (Thai-American? She was born in Thailand, grew up in America, and then moved back to Thailand a few years ago, where she has since lived.) Note: Lindsay is not her real name. You will see why in a second.
Like any journalist worth her salt, Lindsay was well-connected to the pulse of her favorite subjects, which in her case is Thai politics. She informed me about a lot of interesting things that I had not appreciated.
For example, before I met Lindsay, I knew that Thailand had a monarchy. I knew that there was some weird law (I later learned it’s called lese majeste) where you aren’t allowed to talk badly about the king.
Hold up for a second. If you’re reading this in America, or really anywhere in the West, can you just take a second and appreciate that here and now, in 2021, there are still places in the developed(ish) world where you’re forbidden to criticize the despot? It isn’t just North Korea, you know. In Thailand, you can get anywhere between a significant fine and decades in jail (!!) for badmouthing the king. So, watch your tongue.
I didn’t think it was such a big deal, though, because I had mistakenly thought that everyone loved the king here anyway. As it turns out, that was the last king — this king’s dad — who died in 2016. Everybody really did love that guy. This past Wednesday was the anniversary of his death, and nobody had work — it’s a national holiday.
As for the current king, Lindsay politely informed me that no, actually, “he’s a terrible person.” Apparently, he has had some pretty questionable affairs of both intermarital and international varieties. And dissent has been punished in more violent ways than I had previously realized. It’s not to the same extent as Myanmar, where the military junta has been opening fire on protestors (maybe I’ll write more about that when I someday visit, but not now), but censorship is still an extremely hot and contested topic here. With social media platforms now in the picture, it’s also become a lot harder to censor, and a lot of young people are starting to speak out online.
As two American nationals, of course we compared it to our home country, where people who have no clue what real censorship and oppression looks like still manage to feel censored and oppressed. Here’s my hot take: in a country as affluent as the U.S., people amplify their small struggles into very big, personal problems, since otherwise they would be existentially bored and have to cope with the truth of their menial, insignificant lives — a truth for all humans which, in 21st-century America, we’re trained to avoid at all costs. It bothers me that in the process, Americans frequently fail to appreciate and be grateful for the blessings and freedoms that they actually do have.
Anyway, Lindsay and I had a nice chat. It wasn’t all politics and talking shit about entitled, ungrateful Americans (although that is a habit of mine, it seems). We also talked a bunch about sociology, psychology, neuroscience, existentialism, spirituality, religion, mindfulness, behavior science, and MBTI (would it surprise you that she’s an INFJ and I’m an ENFP?).
I’m a nerd about MBTI, so I can’t help myself. She’s been living in Bangkok for several years now, and, in true INFJ fashion, she said “it’s nice to meet someone who is still new here, whose eyes are still wide with wonder at this incredible place.” ENFP that I am, my response was, “Oh, I’m just always like that.”
She told me with a tinge of guilt that eventually, I was going to get sick of Thai food and start ordering off delivery apps. She also told me a few times to use Grab, a ridesharing app like Uber, since I would probably find it very hard to use the taxis here. I laugh when I think about these things, because her painstaking emphasis on each of them is a great example of inferior Se. Classic INFJ indeed.
Awkward segue.
So in Chiang Mai, I’m trying to get to know people at a much deeper level. Since I’ll be here for at least two months, I don’t just want to meet people for coffee once or twice, but rather, I’d like to actually get to know who they are, and for them to know who I am. In other words, I want to build some meaningful friendships and relationships here. To me, the alternative is pretty much unthinkable. I can’t just go through life being unseen and disconnected, having the occasional deep conversation but then moving on to the next. As enjoyable as they can be, one-off things don’t fulfill me.
Being able to sink into and build a community is one of the things I’m most excited about while I’m here, actually. If I’m being honest, I was getting a little sick of being on the road for so long. Solo travel is a beautiful thing, but the longer it goes, the lonelier it feels. Especially with so much closed because of COVID, I think the feeling developed faster, too. If you’re considering solo travel or living abroad for yourself, understand that this loneliness is an extremely common and widely reported side-effect, that’s why I mention it here. (Don’t worry though — I promise it’s still worth it.)
I already know and have met some people here. Back in April, I served a 10-day Vipassana silent meditation course — the second time I’ve served. As a server, volunteering and working behind the scenes, you can talk to the other servers. One day in the dining room, I was telling another one of the servers that I was moving to Thailand later this year, thinking I was so cool, unique, and special. He asked “Where in Thailand?” “Chiang Mai.”
“Oh, I’ve lived there for the past five years!” I guess I’m not as special as I thought 🙁
Shane and I became instant friends, though. Not only do we now live in the same city, but we’re both obsessed with the same band, Phish. On the retreat, I had seen Phish 42 times, and he had seen them exactly 100 more times than me, 142 times in total. (I’ve since seen them another three times in Colorado to make 45.) He is an incredibly chill, grounded guy. And, as two dedicated Vipassana meditators, we have a deep mutual understanding and shared worldview that goes beyond words.
He was eager to meet me as soon as I arrived here, catching up and welcoming me to this wonderful city. We went out, grabbed some lunch, and hung out at his rock climbing gym for a while. We talked a lot about what we’re currently working on and hoping for in our futures; for him, it’s building his career here, while for me, it’s letting go of expectations and opening myself up to whatever is going to happen. He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, my first time here, that’s what I did too.”
Shane is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and he has made very clear to me that if I ever need anything at all, I can always reach out. We’ll be getting together again soon and doing some more exploring together. He has a weekend routine where he goes to a temple in the hills, meditates, and then wanders around and enjoys a nice breakfast. I’ll join him for it, either this weekend or sometime in the near future.
Speaking of extremely welcoming and friendly people, I reached out to Oscar, one of my friends who I grew up with. A mutual friend of ours told me Oscar is now living in Thailand and teaching English; that he’s been here for a few years and lives in a remote province with his girlfriend. Like Shane, he was incredibly happy to hear from me and immediately offered to host me if I’d ever like to come visit. I told him I’d love to. He told me “My girlfriend wants to know if you can ride a motorbike?”, so seeing them will be fun.
I chatted with Oscar a bit for the first time in almost ten years, it seems. He seems very happy here. I told him that I was happy for him, that he had found such a great place and built a beautiful life. He replied that coming here changed everything for him, and he was so grateful to our mutual friend, who had made him realize it was possible. Now, he just wants to share and pay it forward — if there’s anything he can do to help, he said, just ask.
As a side note, I’m just now reflecting on the similarity between these two friends. In Vipassana, we say that our practice is ehi passiko — “come and see for yourself.” People who practice Vipassana meditation really do become happier, and ehi passiko is the characteristic of genuine happiness that always wants to spread and be shared with others. So perhaps it’s not surprising that Shane, Oscar, and countless other people who I’ve met here are all so welcoming. It’s a great life, and people have a genuine desire to share it without expecting anything in return.
I’ve met a few other people here so far that I’ve really enjoyed and appreciated — not only that, but who I felt enjoyed and appreciated by. Some new friends including locals, fellow freelancers, digital nomads, and as of today, my Thai language teacher.
Foreigners & Integration
I watched a video recently about living in Chiang Mai in different neighborhoods. Nimman is the most expensive, posh part of town where most of the foreigners and digital nomads like to live. In the video, someone brought up a very valid criticism: often, digital nomads do not integrate well with their communities; instead, they’ll just hang out in a “bubble,” which Nimman is, in a lot of ways. Another video I watched a while back brought up a similar point: many digital nomads just enjoy a good, low-expense lifestyle, but it’s all take; there’s no giving back to the community.
I find both of these concerns very valid, and neither is very surprising. But to me, I don’t see the point in living abroad if you’re just going to live in your own little ego-sized bubble — getting out of that bubble is what makes living abroad so special in the first place. I have a deep desire to connect with the locals and integrate with the community here. That desire shows up in different ways in my life; it includes my aforementioned desire to establish and grow deep relationships, and it also includes taking Thai lessons.
I’m not sure how long I will be in Thailand or where I will go afterwards. But I know that wherever I live, including here, I want to spend time learning the local language. I want to be able to talk to locals, to read what they read and understand what they say, and to be able to communicate in their way rather than defaulting to mine in every interaction. I want to discover their customs, traditions, and viewpoints to gain a greater reference point for my own. And rather than being a citizen of America that happens to travel the world, I want to be a citizen of the world that happens to be from America.
Why? Well, on the one hand, why not? But on the other, I think there is something intensely meaningful and enriching about appreciating lifestyles and cultures other than your own. Forgive me if it’s taboo, but I was genuinely not happy in America, and I was having extreme difficulty finding people who were. The extraordinarily specific circles that I was in (including the Vipassana community) were the exceptions that prove the rule. A socialized American lens would color the advice and feelings of everyone who I met; it never seemed to capture the whole picture.
To fully understand the essence of what it means to be human, at least in the 21st century, I believe that one must transcend the inherently limited viewpoints and values of their nativity. And at least for me, to not fully understand my own humanity is a recipe for me to be unhappy, because I’ll know fully well that there is more out there, but I’ll never understand what it is until I live it.
So here’s to exploring, to getting out of your comfort zone, and to appreciating lifestyles far removed from your own. There are countless routes to happiness, and I do not mean to suggest that travel is the highest virtue. But if we are blind to our own path, perhaps living among other cultures can spark new ideas and inspiration, helping us to find our way.
Wherever you are in the world, I hope curiosity, inspiration, and gratitude open and fill your heart with joy. Enjoy the ride!
With peace & love,
Andrew
P.S. As always, I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to leave comments below telling me about your life, your beliefs, your traditions — even seemingly mundane things, like how you spend your most ordinary days. As it turns out, nothing is mundane; yet also, everything is. You can also subscribe to the email list with the form at the bottom of the site, or say hi on the Contact page. See you soon!
